my surch for salvation

my surch for salvation
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

the road so far

okay so ill be blut becuase i don't care about what people think any more, im to far gone to care.

im a pretty fucked up little girl. thats the beging middle and end all the rest are details.

i love. im cable of loveing every one and every thing. in this life with the pain i've felt witch i dont know if you want me to go there. according to katie this is suppossed to be a happy blog!

okay fuck that...

pain it feels like my ribs are being pulled back just so my heart can be ripped out, it feels like my bones are being snapped one buy one and every thing eles. is in flames.

once you feel that you know when you love

you know how to love

you know what it means to love

to feel.

once you've felt that it's insane what you're capable of.

what you'll do to keep the pain away.

once you hit tht pain you find how deep you find your skin goes and how meny pills it will take to never wake up.

i have meny scars i have meny cuts.

my body now holds 86 cuts all over it. it can hold more.

but i promised i'd stop. i promised i'd try.

and for him i will.

this scars me. i dont feel normal unless im hurting myself.

weather its not eating or cutting.

with out that i dont know what i can do i feel rong missplaced. pain has become a part of every day life, something i can't live without. fucked up? trust me i know.

but if stoping will let me feel happyness true happyness then well mabey its worth a shot.

or mabey it will go horbily rong.

lets find out shall we?


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