my surch for salvation

my surch for salvation
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

fallen

i love mah f words :)

haha and no not fuck!

here are some of my face words at the moment.. cuz i can!

fallen- carved into my skin

freedom

faith

forgotten- forget

fly

fight

fear

and my other fave word innocent

of all the things i wish i had it was that.

i went to a nurse prationare for my deppresion last tuesday, she asked me if i had one wish what would it be. i want my innocence back. but i lied and told her something about i dont even remember. the loss of my innocence is my one and only regret. and no one talks about it. no one tells me it was rong. i think they know i kill myself over it enofe that they dont need to tell me i made the biggest mistake of my life. giveing everything to some one who was not capable of loveing some one so broken. i gave him everything, and got nothing back. esspeacly my innocence. and thats what i want most. it liget killing me.

i want to be pure, like air, free like wind. i want to fly away. i want to scrub him off my skin. i want some peace of mind.

but im more like smoke tanted and worthless. forgotten. and THATS what hurts most. the fact that theres nothing i can do to get it back.

i said yes i could have said no. god i wish i said no. i wasnt pressuerd. i was stupied. i had options. it could have said no. i should have said no.

and i will hate myself everday for the rest of my life. my one regret.

some angels are ment to fall....

but i never really believed in angels.

- a tainted girl

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